I'm just super stressed and thought I'll share this here..My husband and I both worked as SDE2s. We bought our home for approx 1.35 million in Lynnwood last February and we were so happy when we found out I was pregnant in Jan. But then just one week after learning about the pregnancy my husband lost his job in that round of layoffs. It was a complete shock to us, especially because he was on the path of being promoted to SDE3 and had been within the company for seven years. This pregnancy has been super stressful even though my husband parents have been here to support us. But its been a few months since the layoffs now and he still hasn't found a job..hes on H4 anyway so visa is not an issue for now thankfully. We planned for this baby and bought our house in preparation for our growing family so it's been tough dealing with all these unexpected changes. I'm working on some critical projects and he was being promoted so I wasn't afraid of being laid off either – that's why we decided to have a kid. But now with him out of work and our baby on the way, our financial situation is more stressful We also bought a house in Mumbai and we have a car payment, sohe cannot really take lowball offers. He is getting offers in the max 250k range but it is not enough for all our expenses. We are now in a very difficult position and we just don't know what to do, especially with parents here and I don't even know how I can return to office, I don't want to,.. honestly We had to use almost all our cash for the down payment and we are now selling stocks little by little every month to get by. Parent tickets and their expenses are also too much. Honestly they are adding to our stress constantly asking for interview updates.. I just cannot bear this all while I'm pregnant. I'm so afraid to go on maternity leave thinking I'll be targeted next. Just don't know what to do. I cannot express how horrible I'm feeling to my husband my in-laws or my parents. Just venting out here. From a financial sense we cannot get rid of the car as well as it's important for our commute. And I warned my husband not to buy an expensive car but he didn't listen and we have a 6-year loan with more than a $1,000 monthly payment and add insurance to that. We cannot do anything with the house as the reddfin and Zillow estimate are now approx 1.17 so we'll have to pay out of pocket if we sell. Parents want us to put house on rent and go to India.. the rent will not even cover half mortgage.. and no one wants to buy our used model Y which we bought at peak. Seriously we sound like idiots. Plus one of our relatives in India took 15 lakhs from us for their house purchase and haven't returned yet. My father in law is too proud to ask our money back.. it's not 3ven his money.. it is our money I know we have to push through and I know we will but I just feel unlucky with all the timing. We shouldn't have bought the house both here and in India and also the car. Sorry for the rant but I cannot share this with anyone not my husband not my friends not anyone.. I know we made mistakes but I'm hoping when the baby is born everything will be awesome. My general advice to women out there, make sure everything is sorted before having a baby.. the stress just multiples 5x during pregnancy.. have a happy weekend everyone.. Edit - adding about the questions on taking the 250k offers.. we are not stupid to reject those offers.. the Mac base he was offered was 130k and 2 of the 3 offers he got has a majority of salary in pre ipo stock options. So there was no point taking them. His previous salary was 305k - reduced due to stock after he got a dive and save for 350 earlier... We currently have one offer that we will have to accept by end of next week if we don't hear from another company.. that's the one with 130k base and remaining in sign on + stock.. the sign on will help us, so we'll take it.. job change on H4 is easy as well, so we'll change later if necessary
250k is a lot. I may suggest you to get rid of things not wanted, even if it means to bear some financial loss, you will be mentally at peace. Take care.
$15 job at mcdonalds > 0 Nice logic, you are out of touch with reality
I’m sorry to hear that. Pregnancy is hard with all the stress, but hey you can look at the bright side, you have a job and you husband is getting 250K > 0, your situation maybe better than some other people’s
Nothing is more important than a healthy baby born .You taking stress over money could impact pregnancy. Money comes and goes . It’s part of life .250k is better than. Zero
First and foremost, don’t take stress. It’s not not good for the baby. Make sure you have communicated to your manager that you will be taking maternity leave. Usually around the 5th month of pregnancy is the mark you usually want to reveal at work. Hopefully you have 16th weeks or more. After that ask your manager if your company has any programs like sabbatical. When you’re on sabbatical you usually get a percentage of your paycheck monthly. But to be eligible you should have normally worked in the company for x years. In your maternity leave spend lots of time with the baby but also ensure your husband has plans to interview if hasnt landed a job yet. I also bought an expensive car, 95k and had to convince my wife. For me it gives me joy and happiness every time I drive. Every-time I stress out I drive my new car and it helps calm me. So may be that was the thinking behind your husband buying the car as well. Just a thought. Good luck
Lol, it gives me more stress to be driving a 95K car. Rich tastes. Interesting that people can find relief in driving such expensive cars.
Its all about balance. And how you budget and afford. If you can afford, I’d say go for it. Earning all this money, gotta spend some of it on what makes you happy
You lost me when you mentioned he can’t accept offers for 250k - too low - NOT. That is the new reality and the right thing to do. You can have a very good life with 2 jobs in tech, 1 paying 250k.
Agreed! He doesn’t have the luxury to decline offers. I would focus on the baby instead of those numbers.
Thanks.. we'll probably take a 240k offer by the end of next week if another interview doesn't go through.. but that has just 130 base which 8s what we are worried about.
If you think things are difficult now, they’ll be a lot more difficult once the baby is born. Trust me. My wife and I thought life was stressful while she was pregnant, but those were the good old days. Every single day with our newborn baby for the past 11 months has been more stressful and tiring than I could ever have imagined. Get your financial life in order now before the baby is born. 250K salary is great in this market, he should absolutely take it. If something better comes along he can always jump to that but every month he’s not making income, is another $15k you don’t have in the bank. I don’t know how car leases work but if there’s any way to break it and downgrade to something cheaper, go for it. My wife and I bought a used 2014 Subaru for $13k which has a reasonably low total cost of ownership, and insurance is also cheaper on used vehicles as well. I will never understand people that pay a thousand dollars a month or more for a high-end car. If you’re financially constrained, then you need to make more prudent financial choices. Overspending is creating stress where you don’t need it. At least with your parents staying with you you hopefully won’t have to pay for childcare. Childcare is currently my family’s largest expense, even more than our mortgage. It’s ridiculous. No matter how stressed you might be with your parents, it’s a blessing to have someone living with you who can take care of a newborn baby. Cherish that. Seriously, things will not get easier when the baby is born. Make the difficult financial choices now while you still have your sanity. Lower your spending, take the job and even if it’s suboptimal. You are currently the least stressed that you will be for the next several years, it only gets harder from here.
Post sounds fake idk why
Too entitled to take a $250k offer.. seriously??
Lost me after that.
They all have really low base and pre IPO stock options
Reduce expense
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Sorry to hear, but can really tell you what to do especially since you havent shared your income now and your expenditure. If you guys had made 1.35M, that should be good enough. If not, start getting rid of things you dont need - like the expensive cars. Also, i dont undershand the math of not accepting an offer of 250k in this current market . If my math is correct, 250k > 0
If he is getting 250k and lets say she is getting 100k. 350k is more than enough. We are making 350k and have similar mortgage as you. We bought house recently and a car with 800 and 200 insurance!
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